Friday, November 10, 2006

Ladies POST 2D@Y!

Don't be Scared! It's Friday! Ladies Read Free! CHOP!

So, Has Evrrybody heard the news? I'm getting another ovary! I love Conway.

My favorite Popista Britney Spears finally dropped the bomb on K-Fed. They're getting divorced. I have so many favorite things about this story I start to hyperventilate just thinking about it. I'll do my top five.

One- The news broke the same day as the Election day coverage. So, on MSNBC, the only two stories they reported on that day were the Election and Brit's Divorce. YEAH NEWS MEDIA MAKE NOISE.

Two- Kevin Federline's nickname is now Fed-Ex.

Three- The break up happened in a text. Right before K...I mean Fed-Ex was served with papers, Brit texted him "I H8 U, Loser". It's sooo fuckin' over when you won't even spell out the word "you". HAHAHAHAHAHA AM I RIGHT LADIES?

Four- Fed-Ex's "album" "dropped" last week to dismal "sales". 7,000 copies sold (the same number as my cousin's demo tape of him fucking a guitar hole...the whole album just the recorded session of having sex with an acoustic guitar). Brit however is now working on her new album with a lobster. True. Wonkette am i right????????

Five- Best quote ever of the week by Fed-Ex. At Chicago's House Of Blues on Wednesday night, he told the crowd: "Hey, I see a lot of fine ladies in here. You know I'm a free man, right, ladies? You wanna dance with a pimp?"

EVERY LADY, do you wanna dance with a pimp?


Thursday, November 09, 2006

Get em gurrrl. Get em gurrrrrrrl.

Yeah this lady is gonna fuck up your tea party now that the Democrats are having sex again with the American nation. They were having a dry spell; now they've been called in. Good for them.

And this lady, Pelosi, is at the head of the House, she is gonna buck some broncos. About time, right?

At a press conference today, Prez. Bush said the following about her: "Yeah i spoke with nancy and was like you must be excited to get an interior decorator in there to get some pretty curtains for your new office."

Other possible future offensive comments Prez. Bush will probably make:

1- Motion to the floor: Make me a sandwich.
2- Lemme suckle that tittie.
3- Is this on the record or are you on the rag?
4- Lets go purse shopping!
5- Really? Pull out of Iraq? Yeah, right after you pull that dick out of you.
6- C U Next Tuesday. Get it Nance? Get it? I am calling you a cunt. (giggles)

Monday, November 06, 2006

I'm Making My Christmas List...No 1...