Friday, April 28, 2006

Last Show in April Run (tear...sob...gunshot)

Show up dressed as a furnace and get 10% off admission (maybe)

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Can I feed you salmon?

REALLY??? YES!?#&! ALL RIGHT!@!@(*#&!!!!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I'm doing speed right now!!!


Speed the MOVIE!

I crushed up a DVD into a powder and snorted it!


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Reflection after flipping through a book of quotes...

"If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not
selling advice."

-Norman R. Augustine, industrialist (1935- )

Touche, Norman R. Augustine. But tell me this: If industrialists are so expert, why did the Hindenburg disaster happen?

Got no answer, do you Augustine? No answer!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

I shot an orphan today. It was like...oh great.

I'm a nosey cunt. I am. I know it. It's fine. Like if I've ever been over to your house or something, I've probably looked around in your shit. I might have taken a shit in your shit. Sorry. I like to do the following things: look at books people own, look at photographs, look on dressers, check calendars, look inside fridges, look inside medicine cabinets, etc.

On my subway ride home today, these are the following items a seemingly 24-year-old male, with blonde hair, beard, and nike coat was carrying in a clear plastic bag:

-1 bag of Care Bears Gummy Bears
-1 copy of Angela Lansbury in "Murder She wrote" Season one
-1 box of Carnation Instant Breakfast
-1 pair of socks
-1 set of keys
-1 box of Vanilla Cheerios

I want to party with him.