Friday, May 05, 2006
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Quick Quiz!
One question, two answers, make your submission by noon on Friday or you'll get really, really FAT!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Okay, here we go:
Who wrote "To Kill a Mockingbird"?
a) The entire nation of China (with one giant quill)
b) Wayne Knight
Clock's tick-tick-tickin yo
Okay, here we go:
Who wrote "To Kill a Mockingbird"?
a) The entire nation of China (with one giant quill)
b) Wayne Knight
Clock's tick-tick-tickin yo
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Rain sketch
Lanny: [walking in, holding umbrella] Jesus. The rain out there.
Pham: [sitting, reading a large hard-cover book, doesn't look up] I know. Can't stop it. So don't even try.
Lanny: Yeah, well I wasn't trying to. I was just commenting on...
Pham: Don't try to stop it. Do not!
Lanny: Oooo-kay. Listen, are mom and dad home?
[silence]
Lanny: Pham?
[silence]
Lanny: Pham!
Pham: [throws down book and stands] Mom and dad...WERE WASHED AWAY!!
Lanny: Uh...
Pham: The rain came a-knockin. They opened the front door. And they vanished, vanished like sea gulls when the night winds gust.
Lanny: I, um, really don't believe you.
Pham: Believe this!
[Immediately, a knock is heard]
Pham: Oh mama! I'd let that visitor go unwelcomed.
Lanny: What?
Pham: Don't open the door!
Lanny: Listen, Pham, I'm not sure what's with you. You're not making me afraid, though. I know you're full of shit [opens door].
[600 million gallons of water rush in and toss Lanny into the air. Twenty short men bob up and down in the water. They carry swords and chant, "The rain, the rain, it'll send you packin!" The water and men gush back out the door, taking Lanny with them. Door slams after they exit.]
Pham: When will the rainy season end? WHEN?
Pham: [sitting, reading a large hard-cover book, doesn't look up] I know. Can't stop it. So don't even try.
Lanny: Yeah, well I wasn't trying to. I was just commenting on...
Pham: Don't try to stop it. Do not!
Lanny: Oooo-kay. Listen, are mom and dad home?
[silence]
Lanny: Pham?
[silence]
Lanny: Pham!
Pham: [throws down book and stands] Mom and dad...WERE WASHED AWAY!!
Lanny: Uh...
Pham: The rain came a-knockin. They opened the front door. And they vanished, vanished like sea gulls when the night winds gust.
Lanny: I, um, really don't believe you.
Pham: Believe this!
[Immediately, a knock is heard]
Pham: Oh mama! I'd let that visitor go unwelcomed.
Lanny: What?
Pham: Don't open the door!
Lanny: Listen, Pham, I'm not sure what's with you. You're not making me afraid, though. I know you're full of shit [opens door].
[600 million gallons of water rush in and toss Lanny into the air. Twenty short men bob up and down in the water. They carry swords and chant, "The rain, the rain, it'll send you packin!" The water and men gush back out the door, taking Lanny with them. Door slams after they exit.]
Pham: When will the rainy season end? WHEN?