Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A Fantastic Idea for a Movie

The plot centers around 25 people waiting in line for concert tickets. They're out on a sidewalk. In Miami. The narrative goes back and forth between different conversations people are having. Some people meet others in line. Some people just keep to themsleves. But here's the thing: One of these people is actually a space shuttle. At first everybody avoids him, looking disparagingly at his rocket boosters and landing gear. "A space shuttle?" one old man says to his wife. "Hmmf!"

But then a little boy falls down, scrapes his knee. And who's there to help him up and rub a little antibacterial ointment in his cut? You got it. Good ole space shuttle. Soon, people are gathered around him, asking questions about the MIR space station and the possibilities of galaxies unknown. Everyone laughs at the space shuttle's jokes ("What did the solar system do after eating a big meal? Loosened its asteroid belt!") and the crowd bursts into applause after the shuttle's rousing rendition of Fiona Apple's "Criminal," which he sings acapella.

Then, just as the ticket window opens and everyone starts to move forward down the sidewalk, a bit regretful that this wonderful afternoon is coming to an end, the space shuttle takes off. Everyone looks up, eyes glued to the metallic wonder shimmering in the Floridian twilight. We see a close-up of a tear ... no face, just a tear, which itself has a tear. We also see two hands -- one white, one black -- come together for a slow-motion high five. But then the camera pans back to the space shuttle, and, in spectacular fashion, it blows to bits. The people in line are left dumbfounded, too stunned to cry, too deep in reflection to speak. A small mouse creeps toward the silent crowd. It squeaks softly, and the boy -- the same one who cut his leg -- picks it up and places it in his pocket. Sirens are heard in the background. A harmonica version of "Criminal" plays. Morgan Freeman walks on screen in a chicken suit. Slowly -- oh so very slowly -- the screen fades to black.

This movie will be called "Scream."