Thursday, September 07, 2006

Who saw last night's episode of Law & Order: SVU?

Phoebe: I was watching Prison Break.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A stuffed clown discusses media conglomeration...

Man in suit: Thank you, clown, for joining us here today.

Clown: Oh, you're too kind.

MIS: Well, let's get down to this. Mass media as a whole is really in the hands of four or five major corporations.

Clown: I know. And those corporations are all controlled by one entity.

MIS: Oh, you mean the government?

Clown: No, I mean the ocean.

MIS: Um, okay. Could you elaborate?

Clown: It's pretty self-explanatory, really. Tidal waves, coral, the submarines. Jessh! Fucking jeesh!

MIS: Please, clown, try to avoid profanity. We're on network TV.

Clown: I'm just trying to make my point.

MIS: Let's move along. There are some good aspects of media conglomeration...

Clown: It's relaxing to just sit and watch the oceanliners, I guess.

MIS: Uh, I'm talking more about the fact that large media companies can bring in-depth coverage of events to places all over the country. You can get the 'New York Times' in Fargo, North Dakota, for instance and...

Clown: Fargo? That'll be under water someday.

MIS: What?

Clown: In twenty years, we're all gonna be sea creatures.

MIS: Okay, clown, you said you were an authority on the current media environment.

Clown: I am. For one thing I have a post-graduate degree in marine science.

MIS: That doesn't...

Clown: And for another, I'm made entirely of butter.

MIS: I thought you were a stuffed clown!

Clown: Nope. Here's some bread. Rub it against my arm.

MIS: Okay.

Clown: Tastes good, right? Real, real good.

MIS: That's...that's absolutely delicious.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Open Letter to Elizabeth Taylor

Dear Lizzy,

I wanna touch you. On the face.