Knowledge...

Apparently, in Switzerland they make sandwiches on large pretzles. Like instead of on bread. Great. Fine. But pretzels got them holes. So what happens when you get to that part of the sandwich? It's no longer a sandwich then. It's just meat. This actually happens in some parts of the world, and here we are worried about terrorism? Wow. I mean, wow.

Wait. Don't go. We have a show. Tomorrow. We are debuting a sketch about pillows that try to buy cigarettes but fall into a glacier. Here's the kicker, though: The whole thing's a commercial for candy. Look out, Prussia!

All you ever need to know:
Live Theatrical Performance!
Saturday, Aug. 12
8 p.m.
PIT Theater, 154 W. 29th St (It has a wall)
8 dollars...or a belt

Cannibal Corpse Lyric of the Day

[Cannibal Corpse is a metal band that's probably the closest thing to God or a divine creator any of us will ever experience. Album titles include: "Tomb of the Mutilated," "Gallery of Suicide" and "Hammer Smashed Face." In May 1995, Senator Bob Dole publicly stated his belief that the group "violates human decency." Probably because they're so damn rad.]

Today's lyric comes from the song "Covered in Sores"...
Whittling meat from the bones of the dead
Pulverizing pelvic regions with a sledge
The mutilated bodies I leave rotting after I
Have fucked them with my knife


Say, who wants frozen yogurt?

So is anyone else sick of the Hoover administration?

I mean, Christ! Get us out of this economic depression already. I had to sell my friggin sewing machine for God's sake. I can't WAIT for the '32 election to get this dick outta Washington.