Sometimes an e-mail isn't enough...

It really isn't. Why, just today I needed to remind my dogsitter to take care of Chronicles of Hernia (that's the name of my cocker spaniel) this coming Saturday afternoon. But I knew if I just sent a note to her Hotmail, she'd lose it in the spam shuffle. So what I did was I sent her a package. And in the package was her son. And her son was dead (I had his entire internal-organ structure ripped out of his torso and placed in a large tupperware which was also enclosed in the package). So she's in quite a deal of grief now. But everytime she cries or feels a complete loss of purpose due to her the murder of her only offspring, she'll think of me. And she'll remember I have a cute little spaniel named Chronicles of Hernia and that she needs to come over Saturday to take him out to tinkle and feed him leftover chicken (only people food from my little Chronicles of Hernia). Boy, that's a load off my shoulder blades! Also, I've been arrested.