I don't want your Aloe.

I wish the following things were available for free on the street:

- Umbrellas
- String cheese
- Stock portfolio advice
- Springs
- Harvey Wallbanger (the drink)
- Sparklers
- Ticker tape
- Harvey Wallbanger (the person)
- Self-dignity
- Ocean waves
- Harvey Wallbanger (the myth)
- Farmer's Almanacs
- Not pamphlets
- Spheres of fire?

Alas, all I get is samples of body lotion. And not even enough for my whole body. Who's making these decisions?