Train.

Choo-choo train, what?
Choo-choo train, ho!
Choo-choo train, huh?
Choo-choo train, go!

Go!

Go!

Stop!

Animal on tracks!

Wait...

Wait...

Animal slow!

Uh-oh, oh no!

Go!

Go!

G-g-g-g-g-g-g-go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go.

CALVIN COOLIDGE!!!

CALVIN COOOOLIDGE!

CALVIN COOOOLIDGE!!

CALVIN COOOOLIDGE!!!

ZACHARY TAYLOR!

[gun shots]

[funeral]

Knowledge to take to your mom's bank and deposit it but don't forget that little receipt in the machine or someone may steal your identity

On this day in 1902, Marie and Pierre Curie successfully isolated radioactive radium. Yo, shit gurrl, the Curies may have won the battle in 1902, but radium won the war in 1938 when Marie got shot in the face by it.

What...too soon?

Hey Guys,

I'm probably going to put glow-sticks in my ass later.

These are my friends

I met them on the subway. And then I put them in a cage. Tomorrow experiments begin.

This is something I was thinking about before going to bed

I think children would love to use a toothpaste called "Animal Plasma" because they'd be like: "Mom, I want to brush my teeth." "Well here is your Crest paste," she would reply. And then those fuckers would say "Bitch, bring me the Animal Plasma. I want to soak my gums in it."

The paste could come out of a lion's mouth.

Rodney? Did you Have to?

While some Christian families were saying what's up JC, the rest of the world was stunned to find out that their once beloved "Easter Bunny" was found out to be none other than little Amanda's awkward, always available cousin Rodney.

Rodney Jenkins (28) released a statement this past weekend in which he claimed to own the identity rights to the loveable character that has bemused children around the globe. "Yo, stop fucking using him on like packets of caramels and like with this chocolate cadbury eggs. That shit be mine. And I'm motherfucking tired of it. I started the subway too. I'm Rodney Jenkins and if you don't like it, then you can fall into one of my acne scar crevices and die."

The Port Authority of NY and NJ will be releasing a statement later today in response to Rodney.