The Big Debut

Tonight, rookie forward Sidney Crosby debuts for the Pittsburgh Penguins at the Continental Airlines arena in New Jersey. On Saturday, Cleanest River in America debuts in NYC in front of a tepid audience of barely curious looky-loos at Juvie Hall.

What do the two have in common? Both Crosby and Clean'r Dan Lief were the focus of sexual fantasies by a Canadian teen last night.

What else? All four of them would die without blood and oxygen.

Even wierder? None of them buy non-Free Trade coffee.

SPEAKING OF COFFEE, this just in: Cleanest River in America has struck a deal with my closet to auction off an unused, still-in-the-box COFFEE MAKER!!! The raffle will be free to enter and all proceeds go to the Resurect Hitler fund. Get it! So he won't get anything! Take that you Nazi shithead!

So show your non-support for the biological recreation of a historical monster by coming to the show this Saturday and participating in a free raffle.

And..... break.